


Brothers

by ItsMirkwoodGirl



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Jedi Apprentice Series - Jude Watson & Dave Wolverton, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Brotherly Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Jedi Xanatos, M/M, Sick Obi-Wan, Xanatos did not fall, obi-wan needs to learn to take care of himself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-03 23:55:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17293742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsMirkwoodGirl/pseuds/ItsMirkwoodGirl
Summary: Obi-Wan hadn’t thought about his possible brother- or sister-padawans when trying to find a master. He hadn’t thought about whom the knights and masters he had asked to take him as an apprentice had trained before. He hadn’t thought about legacies to protect or about living up to any expectations. He had only thought about how it would be to lose his friends, to lose his dream and the only goal he had ever had in his life, to be sent away to the AgriCorps. He hadn't thought about brother-padawans. But then, they were there. They were there, and they stayed.





	Brothers

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there!  
> So, after having read throught the "Jedi Apprentice" Series and several fanfics in which Xanatos didn't fall, I couldn't think of anything else but writing something like this. Like, I absolutely live for all those happy fanfics where nobody falls and everybody lives and... you know, just all that good, nice, happy stuff. I also absolutely live for sickfic and hurt/comfort, so yeah, be prepared for that because it is very likely that all my fics have it in them. This one does, I can tell you that much already. Actually, there's no real plot in this, just a lot of feels and whump. Hope someone likes this though!  
> Loads of love,  
> Lotta

**Brothers**

Obi-Wan hadn’t thought about his possible brother- or sister-padawans when trying to find a master. He hadn’t thought about whom the knights and masters he had asked to take him as an apprentice had trained before. He hadn’t thought about legacies to protect or about living up to any expectations. He had only thought about how it would be to lose his friends, to lose his dream and the only goal he had ever had in his life, to be sent away to the AgriCorps.

He hadn’t thought about possible brother-padawans and legacies and expectations all through the events on Bandomeer and Pindar and Gala. He had been too afraid – it wasn’t the Jedi way to experience fear, or to let it control you, but he didn’t know how to fight it. How to fight the fear of that cold heavy buzzing electro-collar around his neck that would explode if he attempted to flee the mining platform, and the fear that he would die in these horrible mines, and later the fear when falling, and after that the fear that had filled his heart and mind as he had reached up to the collar and told Qui-Gon: “I can reactivate it. If I push myself up against the door, the explosion should open it. You might have time to evacuate the mine.” Yes, he had been afraid, but also determined – if Qui-Gon hadn’t found a way around it, he _would_ have done what he had said he’d do. He would have blown himself up… but still, he would also have been afraid to do so. The fears he had felt were still inside of him, and only now he managed to release them into the force, now that he was safe and wouldn’t be hurt and harmed by any slavers or by that man in the black cloak who had kidnapped him in the first place, and who had wanted revenge on Qui-Gon for something, and whose identity had yet to be uncovered… now, he was safe, and his fears shrank and faded into the shadow of his unrestrained complete and utter happiness of having been taken as an apprentice by Qui-Gon. After all of this, after everything, he was back home – well, on the way there – and he was a Padawan. He was, he really was Qui-Gon Jinn’s Padawan now!

He still didn’t think about brother-padawans and expectations and legacies when they landed on Corusant, but there they were, two young Jedi knights, awaiting them. They both wore the traditional cream coloured tunics and pants and dark brown cloaks, but one of them had short sandy-coloured hair and wide shoulders while the other one was a bit more slender, though still muscular, and had long curled black hair. Both of their faces lit up with smiles as their eyes met those of Qui-Gon.

“It’s good to have you back”, the blonde man said and bowed his head before Qui-Gon. The dark-haired man smirked. “Indeed. Now, could we skip the official greetings and go over to the part where you introduce us to our little brother?”

_Little brother?_

Qui-Gon chuckled. “Have patience, my former Padawan.”

“Who cares?”, the dark-haired knight exclaimed. Obi-Wan gasped before he could stop himself. His master laughed though. “You haven’t changed a bit, have you, Xanatos?”

“Why would I?” Xanatos smirked. “Do I have to ask again or are you going to introduce us?”

Qui-Gon sighed dramatically. “Of course. Obi-Wan, I’d like you to meet my former Padawans, Feemor Allie and Xanatos Du’Crion.”

Obi-Wan bowed his head, unsure of how to react. When Xanatos pulled him into a hug and lifted him up into the air for a moment, he let out a surprised yelp, causing the others to laugh and his face to turn hot and red.

Feemor hugged him as well, though a bit less enthusiastically. “It’s great to meet you, Obi-Wan”, he said with a wide, warm smile. “We wondered when Master Jinn would take another Padawan.”

“I think that attempting pressuring me into taking one would be a more appropriate way of saying it”, Qui-Gon stated. “Come on, now, Obi-Wan, we must report to the council and make your apprenticeship official.” He turned to Feemor and Xanatos. “I trust we will see each other soon enough?”  
“Of course”, Feemor said, and Xanatos added a “You can bet on that!”

“A meal at Dex’s, perhaps?”, Qui-Gon suggested. “This evening, to celebrate Obi-Wan’s apprenticeship?”

Obi-Wan couldn’t believe what he was hearing and seeing. Where was the strict, taciturn Jedi Master he had tried to impress so hardly? He had tried so hard to prove himself worthy, to prove that he wouldn’t fall to the dark side, that he would be a good Padawan, but Qui-Gon had remained distant and silent. Even after the events down in the mine, after the fight against that mysterious man whose identity was yet to be uncovered, when Qui-Gon had asked him to become his Padawan, he had been serene and collected… and this Qui-Gon here seemed completely different!

Feemor nodded at the suggestion. “We’ll be there.”

And they were there. They were always there.

Obi-Wan didn’t need long to feel as close to them as he felt to his master. Both of them were nice and helpful, often helped him when he struggled with his homework or sparred with him as practise. Still, and as much as Obi-Wan loved both of them, sometimes there was this slight hint of worry inside of him. What if he couldn’t live up to his master’s hopes and expectations? What if he wasn’t enough? Not good enough, not fast enough, not clever enough, not… just not enough? What if Qui-Gon found that he didn’t like Obi-Wan as much as he liked his former Padawans, what if Obi-Wan was nothing but a gigantic disappointment for his master? What if the love and admiration he felt for Feemor and Xanatos were one-sided, what if he annoyed them, bothered them?

But he was proven wrong a few months later. Qui-Gon had needed to leave to go on a mission, and he hadn’t been able to take Obi-Wan with him because the boy was still recovering from some of the injuries he had suffered on the mission before that. He wouldn’t have left at all if Obi-Wan hadn’t insisted that he’d be alright and, if only he could walk without limping and without his leg hurting, he would have come along… So Qui-Gon had left, not knowing that Obi-Wan was, in fact, coming down with a flu. And Obi-Wan, because he was the person he was and never told anyone when he felt unwell, kept it to himself and stayed in their quarters, sleeping a lot, telling himself that he would be fine, that he didn’t need to go to the healers, and trying to keep all his self-doubting thoughts away and not to cry, trying not to feel like a failure, to release his pain and uneasy feeling into the force…

That’s when the door opened and his brother-padawans entered his bedroom. Obi-Wan hadn’t sensed nor heard them come in, and jerked back with a surprised cry on his lips when a hand was placed on his shoulder.

“Hey, hey, it’s alright”, Feemor said softly and pulled his hand back. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you…”

Both he and Xanatos were shocked to see that the younger one was all alone here, sweat-soaked and shivering, his freckled face pale, though his cheeks were flushed from the fever.

“What are you doing here?”, Obi-Wan asked hoarsely, and let himself be pulled into Feemor’s arms. The older one felt warm, and his touch was comforting, and he leaned against his shoulder. Feemor’s hand came up into his hair, brushing through it gently. Xanatos sat down next to his two brothers, and laid a hand on Obi-Wan’s forehead, then moved his hand down, stroking the boy’s cheek.

“Does Qui-Gon know?”, he asked. “Because if he does and still left you alone like this…”  
“No”, Obi-Wan whispered. “He… I… I didn’t think it was that bad, I… I said, I thought I’d be good… mission’s important…”

Xanatos and Feemor exchanged glances. They already knew that Obi-Wan wasn’t the best at admitting that he wasn’t feeling well, and had a rather strange and concerning view on what was or wasn’t good for him. Qui-Gon had told them about the events in the mine where Obi-Wan had seemed a little too cheerful when pointing out that Qui-Gon would behead him if he tried to cut his electro-collar with his lightsabre, and another incident where Obi-Wan had fallen into a pit with flesh-eating beetles, an incident described by the boy as _hilarious_. The fact that he had _actually thought_ that he would be alright and hadn’t even _noticed_ that he was sick… that was truly concerning.

“Alright, now”, Feemor said. “We have two options. Either we take you to the halls of healing…”

At this, Obi-Wan’s head shot up, his grey-blue eyes staring at Feemor pleadingly. “No, please!”

If he hadn’t been this worried about his brother’s wellbeing, Feemor would have laughed at the almost fearful exclamation – Obi-Wan really, really didn’t like going to the healers. Xanatos did laugh, a deep sound he didn’t even try to disguise as a cough or something like that.

“Or the two of us will stay with you until you’re better”, Feemor continued.

“But… you have… you must have other things to do! I, I can manage, I swear, I’m fine, I…”

“You’re not fine”, Xanatos said sharply, interrupting Obi-Wan’s rambling. “Fee told you what your options are. Don’t try to argue with us, little brother, you need someone to look after you until Qui-Gon’s back home. At least when you’re sick!”

It took another few minutes for them to convince Obi-Wan, but then, Feemor handed the thirteen-year-old to Xanatos and left the room to get a few things.

“I don’t need this, y’know”, Obi-Wan mumbled against Xanatos’ chest. The older one chuckled. “Sure you don’t, Obi-Wan.”

“I’m not a child anymore. I can take care of myself.”

“Yeah, we saw how that played out.”

“I didn’t know I’d be sick!”

“And if you were able to take care of yourself, you’d have gone to the healers immediately. But you haven’t, which proves that you can, in fact, _not_ take care of yourself.” Xanatos lowered himself and his brother to the mattress and pulled the blanket over them. “So, stop fighting the help. We’re your brothers, it’s our job to take care of you.”

Obi-Wan sighed. “Your job is to be peacekeepers. You’re both knighted Jedi.”

“Yes, alright, but that is a secondary job. At least right now.” Xanatos affectionately ruffled Obi-Wan’s reddish-blonde hair. “Rest, little brother. You’ll feel better soon.”

The following three days and nights, Feemor and Xanatos cared for Obi-Wan (who still fussed and tried to argue, though failing miserably), trying to keep his fever down and making sure he got all the fluids and sleep he needed. Deep down, Obi-Wan was thankful for it, but it wasn’t until he awoke from a nightmare in the fourth night, when Xanatos and Feemor were at his side in no time (since they had slept together in the same bed, which was a bit crowded but they managed), calming him down and gently wiping the tears from his face and talking to him, without pressuring him, until he finally told them about his dream about the mining platform and the dark-cloaked man who had put him there, and they didn’t laugh at him and they didn’t tell him to release his fears into the force, they just held him closer and told him that it wasn’t real, and that he was safe and that they’d protect him – it wasn’t until then that Obi-Wan truly understood that, no matter what, they would be there for him. Always, no matter what, they’d be there, like they were here with him now.

And they were there. Always. When Obi-Wan was participating in some kind of tournament, or when he needed help with something, or was looking for a sparring partner.

They were there when Obi-Wan was in the halls of healing after having an extreme allergic reaction to hoi-broth. It was a particularly unpleasant experience, Obi-Wan kept having high fever spurts and difficulties to breathe, but through all of this, they were there, as was Qui-Gon.

They were there with and for him after Melinda/Daan, when he had just returned to the Jedi Order, and they both expressed (using rather creative words Obi-Wan had never, in his whole life, had heard before) their anger towards Qui-Gon for leaving Obi-Wan in the middle of a warzone even though he had a responsibility towards the boy. They were there for him when Obi-Wan struggled, not quite sure if choosing the Jedi and the Order instead of choosing Satine had been the right choice, and held him close and told him that, no matter what, they were there for him, and that they would support him.

They were there after his and Qui-Gon’s return to Corusant, after Qui-Gon had told the council that he would take the little boy from Tatooine as his apprentice. He had come to Feemor’s quarters, shaking violently and crying harder than he ever had, and Feemor had quickly pulled him inside and gently pushed him down on the sofa before contacting Xanatos and making tea.

They were there, on the sofa, to his left and to his right, holding him as he cried and, between sobs, explained what had happened, and that he felt so betrayed and so cast away, as if he was trash, or something useless that Qui-Gon didn’t need anymore, and that he was not, was definitely not ready to face his trials, and, and… They were there.

They were there after Naboo. After that Sith with his red-and-black face had killed Qui-Gon. They both pulled him into a hug, crying with him, all three of them collapsed on the floor, arm in arm, foreheads pressed together, they were there and held each other, as if letting go would have them fall apart. In this moment, it felt like that, as if they’d shatter and break if they let go of each other.

They were there, when Obi-Wan cut his own Padawan braid and placed it on the pyre next to Qui-Gon’s corpse. They were there as the pyre was lit aflame, and they stood right behind him when he turned towards little Anakin, promising him that he’d train him and that he would be a Jedi.

They spent that night at the quarters that Obi-Wan had shared with Qui-Gon, and which he would share with Anakin from now on. Anakin fell asleep on the sofa, and the three brothers went to Qui-Gon’s bedroom, because they no longer fit in Obi-Wan’s bed together, and they slept there, curled against each other, arm in arm, their breathing almost perfectly in synch. Obi-Wan clutched Qui-Gon’s lightsabre close to his chest. When he woke up in the morning, new tear trails had dried on his face, but he looked to his sides and saw his brothers, who were still asleep – and they were there, with him.

They were there when he started training Anakin. They helped them both, same as they had helped Obi-Wan when he had just started his apprenticeship, and same as they had done everything they could back then to help, they did the same thing now, helping both the young Master, their brother, and his apprentice, who still struggled finding his place in this strange new world of the Jedi.

They were there during the battle of Geonosis, fighting the battledroids, and they were there after, when they were on their way back to Corusant. They sat next to Obi-Wan and Anakin, nursing their own wounds and watching two medics take care of Anakin’s stump of an arm while Obi-Wan recounted the fight with Dooku.

They were there when Obi-Wan was offered the rank of master on the council, and they both hugged and congratulated him, and threatened to celebrate it by throwing a feast (but they knew their brother well, and in the end, they ended up going to Dex’s with Obi-Wan and Anakin instead).

They were there during the Clone Wars, fighting side by side with Obi-Wan and Anakin on occasion, though not always, but they always made sure to check on their little brother and Anakin (whom they considered their youngest brother unanimously, even Obi-Wan saw him as a brother by now).

They were there, the way they had promised. They were there until the end, until the execution of order 66. But even after dying, they were still there... somehow. After all, there was no death, there was only the force. But that didn’t mean that Obi-Wan didn’t cry thinking about his lost brothers – all three of them – almost every night until he died.


End file.
